That Encanto song about "pressure"... is it for Working Parents trying to plan summer?

To the parents who are planning summer camps in February: I see you.

It’s not even spring yet, but I’m already feeling pressure to create summer. And the pressure is exhausting. 

My son’s school has emailed an exhaustive list of suggested kids' summer camps (many of which cost about a car payment for one kid to attend until 3 pm). The gym near my house has started advertising “beach-body-ready workouts” (blergh). And I need to return that text to my cousin about when we might come up and visit this August...

Thinking through this the other day, I realized I was starting to resent summer already. Sure, summer hasn’t started yet, but I could feel the pressure—kids out of school, camps to coordinate, the heat of navigating work and family and travel and home, and, on top of all that, the actual heat… phew. I realized I wasn’t looking forward to it—I was dreading it.

In that moment, I decided to reset.

I decided that this time, I would try to create a different mindset for summer.

So my goal, my mantra, for Summer 2023: Whole is better than perfect.

Feeling whole this summer—by asking for help.

Coordinating everything from family vacations to babysitters, and camp schedules to kid playdates, all while trying to maintain our work and sanity—it’s a huge drain on working parents.

This year, I’m acknowledging how much extra work those things are! Here are ways I hope to ask for help:  

• From my coworkers and clients - Being honest when I need to push morning meetings later, or end my day earlier, because of the daunting summer schedule.

• From my family - Asking for help with dropoffs and pickups, and asking for grace and kindness when I can’t meet expectations for large family summer activities.

• From my parent friends - Cheating on my “homework” by asking to copy theirs - asking for their suggestions for camps, babysitters, and summer activities - and not being afraid to shamefully plagiarize.

Feeling whole this summer—by forgetting perfect. 

One of my favorite quotes is by Brené Brown: "Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are."

I have very clear ideas of how summer is supposed to look. Trouble is, it never quite turns out that way.

I envision poolside days but have trouble coordinating my work schedule.

I plan camps to entertain my children but end up not getting enough work done in the few hours they’re at camp.

I dream about local, seasonal dishes that I can grill for my family, and I feel inadequate when we end up with hot dogs.

A summer of expectations is a lose-lose.

This summer, I am going to try and notice whenever I feel that ache, that pull of, “We’re supposed to be…”

And I’m going to do my best to settle back into embracing, “We are…”

(After all — who doesn’t love hot dogs in summer?)

Making Summer 2023 a summer to enjoy

I still have time to set expectations—to start practicing my mindset before it’s summer ready.

How do you manage expectations (and pool laundry, and camp-hungry kids, and your still-existing job, and your sanity) in summer?

Because this year, I’m not afraid to ask for help.