Why Asking “What Do I Need Right Now?” is an Important Communication Skill
Last week, I was writing an article for a client—something they would use in their corporate newsletter. But I was stuck. The deadline's shadow started to darken over me, and the article was nowhere near done. A feeling close to panic began to creep through me. Then, there was that familiar doubter voice. "Maybe I'm not good enough. If I were, I would be able to..."
BUT. I've learned that when I hear that voice, it's time to check-in.
It sounds simple, but this is one of THE most critical communication tools I have in my toolbox. The self-check-in.
I ask myself simple questions like, “What do I need right now?” Or, “What’s working right now, and what’s not?”
In that moment, I realized a few things. One, I was REALLY thirsty! (Who knows how long I'd been locked into my screen.) Two, I was nervous that my article topic wasn't what the client wanted, and I wished I could verify that somehow.
Then... I remembered that I could!! So, after chugging a glass of water, I called one of the managers. I asked if they had a minute to talk about the article, we chatted briefly, and I got the insight I needed to align the piece to their newsletter's theme.
It took all of five minutes, and then I submitted that article about an hour later.
From Jordan Madison, LCMFT: "Checking in with yourself and assessing your needs helps you to pour into yourself so that you can pour into others. Oftentimes, we check on those around us but neglect ourselves. It's beneficial because it can improve your mood, your energy, your relationships with others, and your productivity."
She also says, “Your mind and body are the only places you live in, despite whatever changes around you.”
Communication Skill: The Self-Check-In
An important but underrated skill at work: communicating what you need. To have a healthy, productive, innovative work environment, we should all be able to communicate CLEARLY about what we need. But what’s challenging about this kind of #communication – we have to be AWARE of what we need in the first place.
It's important to be able to identify and communicate your needs. But this can be difficult, especially if you're not used to doing it!
Communication tip: Ask yourself first, “What Do I Need Right Now?”
When communicating your needs to others, the first step is understanding what you need! Here are some tips for checking in with yourself:
Ask yourself, "How am I feeling?” Other questions: “What do I need right now?" “What’s working, and what’s not working?”
Be honest. Don't just think about what's possible, or what others expect from you—be radically honest as you question what you need.
Check in with your body. Take a few breaths and notice how you feel.
Zoom out from your day. Try and look at the big picture. What's on your mind? What's coming up for you?
Communication tip: Sharing your Needs with Others
Once you're a bit more clear on what you need, then the next step is communicating that to others. Here are some tips for communicating what you need to others:
Prioritize your needs. Often, we need more than one thing! What would be most helpful to you right now? Be very clear.
Take a moment to think about who you need to communicate with. Consider what they need to know. Also consider whether helping you with what you need could be in their best interest. (For example, if you need to communicate with a coworker about shifting a work deadline so that you can prioritize family time, then it might be helpful to explain to the coworker that your work will be much more complete/correct if the deadline can be moved.) It's great if you can think about "what's in it for them."
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, even if what you need could inconvenience others. At the end of the day, we only have so much time, energy, and space. If you open up the conversation about what you need, you might be able to brainstorm a solution that works for everyone.
Be patient. It can take practice communicating your needs, and if you're not someone who's done this before, then the people around you may be surprised at first. Consider this a practice -- it's something you will get better at.
If you want more tips about using your communication skills to set boundaries at work – then sign up for our 3-minute newsletter, 8&21. We send 8&21 twice a month, on the 8th and 21st, and each inspiring issue can be read in three minutes or less.
Looking for a presenter who can bring communication to life? Learn more about Sarah Glova, a keynote speaker and workshop facilitator who’s described as “more energetic than a cup of coffee,” and who’s passionate about helping audiences learn practical ways to improve their communication at work. Learn more at sarahglova.com.